September: Struggling in School?
Many parents of gifted children are excited and somewhat relieved to have their children begin school. Kindergarten is hoped to satisfy some of their insatiable needs. Through that year and others, however, many problems can arise. Your child may be too active, bored, act out, cry, get frustrated…the list can be quite long. As a parent it can be tempting to blame the school system and fight it as hard as we can. After all, these are our amazing children, and we are their mama bears!
I don’t believe there is a perfect school system anywhere in the world, although some can come quite close! While it is tempting to blame our children’s problems on our schools, I would like to suggest that you look carefully at a few other things and you might be surprised at what you find. Many problems are actually an extension of our home life. Communication is an extremely delicate thing, especially with gifted children. They have a very strong sense of the underlying tremors in our daily communication—scary, but true. Take care to educate yourselves on healthy communication. Chapters 3 and 11 of A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children, by Webb, Gore, Amend, and DeVries is an excellent place to start.
Also, it is critical to find the balance between pushing and guiding our children’s efforts. Otto Siegel, of Genius Coaching here in Arizona, suggests that we take a look at what natural gifts our children have. What drives them? What do they naturally love and excel at? If we can find what feels right to them, they will be self-motivated and engaged in their educations. More mental, intellectual, and social pieces fit together naturally.
There are, of course, times when we do need to talk to teachers, principals, and so forth. Don’t be afraid to advocate for your child. But first, look carefully at your child’s entire world. Read…educate yourselves. There are so many excellent books on how to help our children. Support groups and websites are also available—HSG is a part of this.
In all, take time to think about your child as an individual, not just an extension of yourself. You might be surprised to find how wonderful and unique they really are!
