Our annual Night of Fun and Learning will be combined with our Writing Contest Awards Ceremony on May 10th at 6:30 at HEMS. For our parent class, we are going to have a facilitated SENG (Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted) group meeting.  This setting will allow for us to learn from each other in an organized and wonderful way.

We want all of you to have the opportunity to purchase a book that will help immensely in our discussion, plus our daily parenting and teaching of our gifted children.   It is called A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children by Webb, Gore, Amend, and DeVries.  It is available from Amazon for $16.19 plus shipping and handling.  Many bookstores should have it in stock as well. PLEASE consider purchasing this book, but if not, it will not change what you would come away with at our Night of Fun and Learning.  Come anyway!

We will also have classes for the kids while the parents are attending their class. Please make sure to sign up for the classes.

Class Sign-Ups

Parent Class

Art Class

Karate Class

Science Class

We look forward to seeing you there.

Number one, figure out what your child is feeling and accept those feelings. We need to send the message that all feelings are okay, even the worst ones. Kids will learn to understand and trust what they are feeling. This is critical to accomplish before they can be capable of handling these emotions. Empathize, label, and validate emotions before moving on.

Number two. You have labelled your child’s emotion, but they also need to be able to do the same. When you say, “Did you feel misjudged when I accused you of calling your friend a name? I probably should have gotten all of the facts first, huh” it not only helps to empathize, but also teaches emotional terminology and how to apologize/problem solve. Later when you hear them say they feel “misjudged” you can smile and give yourself a parental pat on the back. Another example I have recently used is to have my son write 2-3 emotional vocabulary words in his “emotion journal” when he is upset. If he has a hard time coming up with words, it becomes an opportunity to teach more. Feel free to break out the thesaurus!

Number three–set limits on bad behavior when emotional. Kids, especially intense ones, need to learn how to behave well when upset. Let them know it is not okay to hit their brother no matter how angry they feel–but don’t forget to help them know what to do instead. Examples include distracting themselves, stress management techniques, and steering clear of too much tv or computer which can cause over-stimulation and create a lack of physical outlets.

Number four–problem solve! Brainstorming together is great, but avoid the temptation to come up with all the good ideas. Let your child take the lead. I can attest this is eye-opening to see how creative and capable they really are in handling their problems.

As a word of warning, do not try to emotion coach when you are too pressed for time, have an audience, or when you or your child are too upset to handle things well. And if you feel your child is too negative naturally and is struggling to change it, stay tuned to next month’s article! Please feel free to email ideas or thoughts to higleygifted@yahoo.com. As always, good luck!

Debbie Niu
HSG President

I am not only allowed to sit in with my child during our coaching sessions, but encouraged to do so. Together we talk very honestly, yet purposefully in a positive way. Each characteristic, such as being strong-willed, is treated as good thing, and my child learns that he is not being “fixed”, just educated how best to use the traits he naturally has.

Many gifted children suffer from depression–for many reasons. Some depression comes from environmental training, but much comes from how his/her brain is wired. Patterns of thought create pathways in our brains, and are widened with use. If your child is wired for negative thinking, those pathways will widen as they are used and become much harder to ignore or deviate from. It will take training to change directions. One of my favorite techniques is using the word “no” positively. Confusing? The idea goes like this: As negative self-talk begins (or comes from an outside source like children at school or negative adults), have your child say internally or outloud, “No. I am not stupid. I am capable and very good at this. I have already learned this about myself.” Have them say it as many times as they need to. The word “no” stops the negative thought, and allows for a change of direction, much as a stop sign in the road does.

Because our physiology greatly impacts our emotions, it is very important to pay attention to our bodies. Be aware of what we eat, and make sure we get a certain amount of movement each day. Watch your child to see how they react to activity. Does it help them be happier throughout the day? Are they more content? The more sensitive your child is to needing activity, the more critical it is that they do so. It is also essential that both the right and left sides of the brain are engaged together. Many children are disconnected, and are off balance emotionally because of it. There are very simple ways to help the two sides of the brain reconnect, and I encourage you to do research to understand what those ways are.

It is an amazing process as a parent to break your own negative chain of thoughts regarding your child. The power that comes from children thinking positively of themselves is a significant thing, and is multiplied exponentially when a parent begins to do so on their child’s behalf as well. Good luck on your endeavors to do so!

Debbie Niu
HSG President

Giftedness : A Parent Perspective

Date: Tuesday, Dec. 6, 2011

Time: 7pm – 8pm

Location: Higley Center for the Performing Arts

What Does it mean to be Gifted?Normal?
Why Do some Gifted Children Underachieve?
Options available for HUSD for Gifted Students (Elementary, Middle School, and High School)
Strategies for Choosing the Best Options for your Child

Miriam Phillips-Gill
miriam@pathways4teens.com
(602)999-3892

Pathways 4 Teens
www.pathways4teens.com
“Encouraging Parent Involvement and Student Leadership”

For older children, also feel free to try Dominion, Ticket to Ride, Settlers of Cataan, Rumis, Rummikub, and many more! Read on, and enjoy.

Debbie Niu
———————-
Games for Gifted children (online and board games)

Compiled by Shara Lawrence-Weiss

Not everyone likes the term “Gifted.” Of course, not everyone likes the term “Special Needs” either. When all is said and done – these words are used to describe children who don’t fall into the realm of ‘most typical behaviors.’ Do some kids learn more quickly than others? Yes. Do some kids pick up concepts more gradually than others? Yes. Are there struggles with each side? Yes.

A sense of arrogance is sometimes assumed by outsiders when they hear a parent use the word Gifted. Although this is understandable to a point, no other term exists at this time to describe children with above-average learning tendencies and emotional connectedness. We could potentially replace “Gifted” with something like “Above Average” or “Easily Bored” or “Needs a Challenge” or “Emotionally draining” but really – they all boil down to this:

Some children pick up data and information at lighting speed. They can analyze, pick apart concepts, challenge intelligent grown-ups using logic and facts and quite literally exhaust everyone around them.

For those kids (call them “Gifted” if you will), they need or want more challenging games, thought patterns and options. This brief list is being created for those children – with the understanding that every kid deserves to be given what they need – whatever end of the learning specrum they fall upon.

Online:

Mensa for Kids: Games, activities and puzzles

Mensa.org: Puzzles, math games, word games and more

DiscoveryEducation.com: Create your own puzzles

HomeschoolMath.net: Online math resources for gifted children

Brighthub.com: Online games for gifted children

Board games:

About.com: Top 10 games for gifted children

Hoagies’: Board games

Research will tell us that playing games is a terrific way to stimulate the brain. Our home contains a large number of games and our eldest son (who tested out two grade levels ahead on the state Gifted exam) has loved games…since birth. Until our third child came along we played games almost every night. With the toddlers around it’s more difficult to keep track of small pieces and our game-playing has lessened, much to my sadness. I intend to return to our game-playing ways very soon.

Here are some of our family favorites:

•Whoonu (Cranium – our son’s favorite game. He loves thinking that he knows everything about me.)
•Monopoly (we have two versions – one Star Wars)
•Yahtzee (an oldie but goodie)
•Liebrary (great for literary lovers)
•Sorry (works well to teach good sportsmanship)
•UNO (a classic, of course)
•Scrabble (our son likes to believe he can make up his own words – it’s a running joke now)

By offering to play games with your Gifted child(ren), you’ll be assisting with critical thinking skills, sportsmanship, bonding, strategy and more. Games are a worthwhile investment for everyone in the home. Both short-term and long-term.

Family Game Night

Where

Centennial Elementary Multipurpose Room

3507 South Ranch House Parkway

When

Monday, November 14, 2011

7 PM to 8 PM

Games, treats, and snacks are provided, or you are welcomed to bring your own. It is a good opportunity to get to mingle and get ideas for Holiday Presents.

Look forward to seeing you there.

Then I read a book called “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell that gave me a step towards understanding it all. While Gladwell’s definition of success, sounding something like “Bill Gates” or “Joe Flom”, is different from mine (I define more in terms of happy, healthy, independent, and always progressing), he makes many intriguing points. One thing I like is that he claims everyone past a certain level of intelligence (he uses an IQ of 120-130) is as capable of success as any other in that “pot”. There is no further advantage the higher the IQ. But my favorite idea is that as long as the opportunities are there for our children, and as long as they have that certain level of intelligence, then it is up to them to see how successful they can be. They must learn to work and to understand themselves in order to succeed. And most of that boils down to what we do in our homes.

So what is that, exactly? Teaching kids how to work is a complex thing. But their happiness depends on it; anything worth having takes work. Gladwell suggests that the more work is done, the higher the level of success–provided they have opportunity. I agree, yet also believe that life requires a balance of four areas of life, and that we need to teach them about all four: mind, emotions, body, and soul. I would like to suggest that learning to work hard in all areas will produce the kind of success our children would be happiest to have. Help them learn to eat well, sleep on a good schedule, and discover spiritual or social ideals that can guide them in addition to giving them intellectual stimulation. Coach them in handling their emotions–that in and of itself being a complex subject, as we discussed last month.

But in the meantime, sit down with another adult that knows your child (teacher, spouse, etc.) and make an assessment of how your child is doing in each of the four areas. Then make just one suggestion you would like to help improve on and work on it with them. Once a month, sit down again and look at your assessment. Make another suggestion, then tackle that. Real change takes time, so don’t rush too many things at once. After all, children don’t need to be “fixed”–they are just young, and need guidance. As a matter of fact, include them in your discussions when appropriate. They are extremely capable and usually very glad to help make decisions regarding themselves. And they will be all the more successful for it!

Whether you have specific goals to discuss with the teacher, use these five guidelines and five questions to make the most of your parent-teacher conferences. From our partner, the Council for Exceptional Children.

Five Guidelines to Take Along
1. Plan ahead.
The more prepared you are, the more you’ll accomplish. Write out your questions in advance. Bring some of your child’s work that the teacher might not have seen, especially if your child is a basement scientist, a closet poet, or is highly advanced in any academic area.

2. Establish a feeling of teamwork.
Be specific about some things you really liked about your child’s school experience so far this year. Describe some specific things your child enjoys doing at home or in extracurricular activities.

3. Listen carefully for positive or negative ways the teacher describes your child.
Does the teacher think your child is stubborn or persistent, communicative or an annoying chatter box, the class clown or someone with a keen sense of humor, a pest or inquisitive?

4. Clarify expectations — yours and the teacher’s.
Model positive ways of acting that you want the teacher to use; for example, ask open ended non-judgmental questions to encourage many different responses.

5. Don’t assume that the teacher has a great deal of experience with educating gifted children.
Some teachers believe that if a child gets one answer wrong, she’s not gifted, and that giftedness equals perfection. Many teachers misunderstand a gifted child’s tendency to learn by either moving through a subject more slowly and deeply, or by skimming the surface of many topics.

Five Questions to Ask the Teacher
1. What are your academic goals for the year?
Focus on your child’s progress with respect to the teacher’s class goals. If your child has already mastered subjects described by the teacher, discuss and give examples of the level your child has reached.

2. What do you see as my child’s strengths; can you give me some examples?
Probe beyond “I enjoy having Johnny in my class.”

3. What are some areas that my child needs to work on?
The teacher’s answers might give you a sense of your child’s accomplishments in areas that are not strengths.

4. How would you evaluate my child’s learning style?
If the teacher hasn’t thought about this, can you describe ways that your child prefers to learn — for example, alone or with others, by seeing or hearing, in a very quiet space or with a radio playing? If you think your child is a visual spatial learner, it’s important to tell the teacher, because many teachers assume students are linear sequential learners.

5. How can I help?
Determine the specific areas where you can help the educational process at home or by bringing materials to school for everyone to use. This is an excellent way to emphasize your child’s strengths and share with other children who might have similar needs.

At the end of the conference, summarize the main points, especially if you or the teacher have agreed to take some action. When you get home, write a thank-you note, and share appropriate parts of the conference with your child.

Read more on FamilyEducation: http://school.familyeducation.com/gifted-education/parent-teacher-conferences/38665.html#ixzz1ZyaRyfA5

I would like to take a few minutes of your time to introduce a few direct helps. They are simple in concept, and have shown to make a difference in the lives of both parents and gifted children, or any intense children for that matter.

1. Use expectant praise. Praise children for what you would like them to do, rather than waiting for the action to occur in order to praise them. Example: Your daughter usually comes home from school and drops her coat and backpack on the floor–10 feet from the hooks you have provided for those very items. Today as she walks in the door, say “Thank you so much for hanging that up! That really helps me a lot.” Will they see through it? Yes. But with continued use, trust that you will love the positive effects it will have on both you and your daughter.

2. Reward and reword rather than punish. According to Gifted Parent Groups: The SENG Model, 2nd Edition by Devries and Webb, “Punishment only conveys what not to do, rather than what to do, and it also dampens a relationship. As such, punishment is simply less effective than rewards.” Again, the emphasis is on positive interaction, not negative. Also, rewording your statements is a fantastic tool. If a child does something wrong, instead of “don’t be so ungrateful”, try “instead of telling me my dinner tastes disgusting, ask me if it’s okay to just have a little bit then make something else yourself to finish eating.” Teaching them what to do, and not just what not to do, is surprisingly life-changing.

3. Use Humor! I read a story once about a mother who, upon hearing from all three of her children that their days were terrible, decided to celebrate “The Worst Day Ever” by going out to dinner and laughing the night away. What a great alternative to wallowing. My own father had the worst, most dry sense of humor, that we all loved and helped us through many emotional moments.

4. Recognize the feeling rather than the content. When your child hears “You sound sad. When your friend said that, did it hurt your feelings?”, it provides a badly needed psychological breath of air, just as coming up for air after a bad tumble from an ocean wave provides a badly needed physiological breath. Once that breath of air occurs, they become much more capable of seeing the bigger world around them and not just fixating on that desperate emotional need. Follow up with a hug, and they might be good to go with something that simple.

There are many more examples of things to try in A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children by Webb, Gore, Amend, and DeVries. Talking to other parents and doing research online can also be very enlightening. Just remember the importance of helping your gifted children deal with their emotions well. Their intense natures need help and guidance. Learn to understand yourself, then to understand your children and you will change your worlds!

Debbie Niu
HSG President

Higley Supporters of the Gifted Ice Cream Social

Date: September 12, 2011
Time: 7PM-8PM
Location: Higley Elementary and Middle School (HEMS)
3391 East Vest Avenue

Come and meet with parents and children in the gifted program – both self-contained & cluster classrooms.
We will have plenty of ice cream & other sugar filled food!
Fun activities & Raffle!

Looking forward to seeing you all there!