Working on social skills and friendship guidelines for our gifted kids
One of the greatest areas of stress and worry for our children arises from social concerns. “Does my child have friends? If they do, are they the right kind of friends?” “Shouldn’t he have more friends?” “Shouldn’t she want friends her own age?” “How can I help her be successful?” Some children will be naturally more outgoing than others as with any group of children. But often, our children’s intensities can make friendships a challenge.
First and foremost, relax. Most likely, your child is just fine. They are learning social skills just as all children are. Whether they have one or two friends or too many to count, if your child is content, you should be too. If your child does express concerns or asks for help, be sure to respond positively. Offer to have friends over. Discuss social skills with them. Express your confidence in their abilities. They may develop insecurities simply in response to your own.
As a word of caution, however, it is imperative to monitor computer use for social activities. Gifted children can easily use a computer, and are therefore very susceptible to inappropriate subject matter or conversations.
The most simple advice may be this: Keep communication open to help your child learn about social complexities. Although their choices may not be yours, if they aren’t dangerous or destructive, encourage and guide them. They will feel right away that you are their best friends, no matter what other social experiences may come their way.
For more information on this, read through chapter 8 in A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children
Next month’s topic: Motivation, Enthusiasm, and Underachievement in school.