MOTIVATION is probably the biggest topic overall when parenting and teaching our gifted and talented children. Are they capable? Of course. It is a whole other thing to help them want to learn, perform, and succeed. This issue is so vital to understand and so complex, we are going to take two months to tackle it.
Before our children enter school, they are bouncing with energy and excitement for the world around them. They are excited to have kindergarten answer the many questions they have always had bursting in their minds. The reality is, though, most likely there is no school in the world that can answer them all! So what do we do? How do we keep them engaged in their learning?
In relation to HUSD, although there is current effort to improve the standards and curriculum our children are taught by, when our children are capable of working 2-4 years above grade level, it is still hard to keep them excited and motivated. How does this affect our children? According to A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children, “if standards are low and little effort is required to succeed…strong work habits and self-motivation cannot develop. Rather, the gifted child learns that success comes without much effort, setting him up for failure in later educational endeavors when effort is required to succeed.” (p.61)
So, here (if you aren’t already!) is where you should pay attention. According to several leading gifted educators, including Sylvia Rimm and James Webb, all underachievement and motivation problems are not solved simply by having correct educational options. As a matter of fact, a majority aren’t. So what does? There are three things research says you should do to help your children achieve success: Instill in them a love of learning, keep them reading, and create/maintain a good relationship with them. No matter what happens at school, they are the most likely to succeed if they have these things. ”Strong family relationships can balance or even overcome a difficult school situation.” ( A Parent’s Guide, p. 62) As parents, it ought to give us comfort and concern to know that we are the ones truly in charge of their ability to succeed.
Which brings us to the next inevitable question. How, exactly, do we do that? How do we understand our children and ourselves well enough to pull it off? For now, think about it. Notice what behaviors you have with your children in regards to their educations. Is there a power struggle? Are you understanding or demanding? How do you respond to your children’s opinions? Do you care more about their happiness or achievement–and where is the balance between those two things? Try to be honest in your self-evaluation for the sake of your child(ren).
Next month, we will explore more. We will talk about how exactly we can help motivate our children.